Rubbah Stamp Warning!

A recent study indicated that rubber stamps and
embossing powders give off certain pheromones that
actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase
unreasonable amounts.

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces ,
the pheromones ( Rubber ) cause memory loss and induce
the nesting syndrome ( similar to the one squirrels
have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food ),
therefore perpetuating their species.

Sound tests have also revealed that the rubber emits a
very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a
breed of women known as " Rubber Stampers ". When
played backwards on an LP , the sounds are heard as
chants, " buy me, stamp me. emboss me ".

Studies have also indicated that aliens have
inhabitated the earth, helping to spread the effects
that these Stamps have on the human population.

It's also been experienced that these same pheromones
cause a pathological need to hide these Stamp
purchases when taken home ( or at least blend them
into the existing stash ), and when asked by a
significant other if the stamp is new , the reply is:
"I've had it for a while."