12 Step Program for Chocoholics

Step #1: Never be more than 12-steps from chocolate

Step #2: If you get chocolate on your hands when you eat it, you are eating it too slowly

Step #3: If you ever utter that filthy word "exercise", immediately wash your mouth out with chocolate

Step #4: Realize that it takes little strength to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands, but great strength to eat just one of the pieces.

Step #5: Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, chocolate is therapeutic.

Step #6: Being a friend is good, but what is better is a good friend with chocolate.

Step #7: I don't understand why so many "so called" chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, 'nuff said.

Step #8: Support the theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

Step #9: Put "Eat Chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.

That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

Step #10: If dieting, eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

Step #11: If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

Step #12: You can always give up chocolate, but God doesn't like quitters.